I should be studying, but first...

I think a transformation is taking place.

Last night, I had the pleasure and honour of spending time in the company of some women who, if their energy were harnessed, would take care of all the world's problems, and still have time left over for a glass of wine.

It was...odd, to me. I am used to being the outsider (cos god knows, I didn't kowtow to normal conventions), so I was gearing up to just sit on the sidelines, and smile a lot.

I should have known better.

Stepping through the door, I was enthusiastically greeted, hugged, and then passed to another lady for a hug. There were smiles and conversations that went from the serious to the silly.

I indulged myself by drinking a bit, and as I sat there, half cocked in my alcohol splendour, my Sister of the Heart told me some lovely, lovely things. Yes, those are tears in my eyes.

I have never thought about being a 'feminist.' To me, if something was unjust, it needed to be pointed out, and changed. To me, if the way of thinking and behaving was racist/sexist/homophobic/just plain crazy wrong, I'd be the first person to say, 'what in the ever living world is your problem?' It's just the way I work, just the way I tick.

Yet, talking to these fine women (and one awesome feminist man), it became clear to me that I've been a feminist all along. Or a humanist. Or an every person. I don't think I need to find the right wording, cos I have the right ideas.

My grandmother was heavily involved in the DFL party. She was also involved with the VFW. I never was able to talk to her about what she did, but I found out last night that she contributed quite a bit...and was recognized.

Then there's me, just finding my way, here. I'm organizing the SlutWalk Minneapolis, and I've found it to be as intuitive as breathing. I am happy to acknowledge my gaps of knowledge, and seek out people who can best instruct me on contacts, and give suggestions, and add to the ideas that percolate in my brain from morning to night.

Is it scary? Mmmm...a little. This is going to be a big ol' juggernaut, and I'm going to be spinning along with it, like one of those stars that you see, in the pinwheel of the Milky Way. See? That's me, second star to the left... :)

But is it exciting and wonderful and grand and...life changing? Yes, yes it is. It's opened doors for me. It's allowed me to stretch my wings. It's let me see how strong I really am, and how much strength I have inside.

The Bear side of me smiles. He knew. This wasn't a surprise to Him, even though it was a little, to me.


My grandmother would approve. She spoke about the fight for the working poor, she talked about the rights and dignities of human beings...she had a picture of Hubert Humphrey on her wall as well as Walter Mondale...she was a wonder, herself.

My grandmother died when I was 17. I barely got to know her, and I find that incredibly unfair. I smiled last night, sitting, talking to these wonderful people, thinking that she'd fit right in.

So. Onto the next step. In the meantime, I best crack open my Espanol book. I have some learning to do.



K.